I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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