You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
