i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
