Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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