we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
