so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
did you just send me my own nude
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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