My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
