Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
