the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
