I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
