I cockslap morals
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
