I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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