don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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