apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
