White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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