Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
