he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
