so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
