I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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