yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
