That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
