You're completely useless in the revolution.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
