remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
