Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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