It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
