If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
