Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
