Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
