I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
