Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
