i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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