Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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