Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
