i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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