just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
