so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
