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How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
