i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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