So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
