What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
