Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
