I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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