just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
