Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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