i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
