Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
