boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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