I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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