Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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