I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
