he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
