the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
