I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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